It’s been a few moons since we’ve touched in with all of you. We hope this message meets you all where you are in this New Year unfolding — with love, compassion, strength and peace.
Life has taken on a new rhythm, shape, purpose and texture over the last few months for us.
I want to begin by flowing a wild river of gratitude to all those in our inner-circle who have been riding the current with us, supporting us in every big and small way, all the way. Navigating these waters was more Grace-full, and steadying because of all of you. Thank you! Your loving care and support is everything.
The End of 2022
In October, Mark’s mama (she’s 94!) fell very ill. This illness sent her to the ER and then the hospital for a week, and then into a rehabilitation facility where it quickly became evident that life as she’d and we’d known it for her was now changed. The independence that she’d cherished and we supported in every way we could for the last six years had met its crossroads. Gran D, as we affectionately have called her since our son Destin was born — Gran D for Dorothy — now needed assisted care in leaps from what she was used to. She accepted this with such Grace.
I want to be like Gran D when I grow up!
I have always said, and have told her this many times, including just a few weeks ago, I want to be like Gran D when I grow up. She is and has always been one of the kindest, present, compassionate, loving, supportive, caring, strong in mind, body and spirit, capable, fiercely independent women I’ve ever known. She’s my kind of woman.
She has always been there for us, no matter what we were up to, whether that was when we were setting out to make our biggest career dreams a reality, or having growing pains and challenges with running our successful salon/spa/eco-store/cafe (that she herself worked in as an amazing baker at 70-something!), to when we were starting a family (and helping us with care when we had to work because she felt as strongly as we did about being able to have family raise our son), or when we were moving clear across the ocean to Kauai to live more of our dreams alive … and so much more!
All of these things required heaps of her own self-sacrifice on many levels, but she always did it, she always supported us with her loving heart — even if when we moved across the ocean and it meant we were taking her grandson with us (they have always been super close) and that she wouldn’t see us for months at a time. (Except during the amazing visits she shared with us on Kauai — she’d come and stay for a couple months — she hiked mountains, crossed streams, sunbathed next to the ocean, and lived and loved with us over the four years we lived there.)
Stepping Further Into Purpose … Advocating with Love
During the last few months of navigating the transition between Gran D living at home for six years with her grandson Destin, and his full time support with all things food, meals, medication, home care and cleaning, etc. to hospital stays, rehab care, and finally to her home in assisted living memory care (Gran D lives with dementia), we knew with 100% certainty that we needed to be fully present to advocate for Gran D’s health and wellbeing.
She would have done the same for us, in a heartbeat, and she deserves nothing less. We put most everything on hold (so grateful for our flexibility to do such things) and moved in nearly full time with our son so we could be closer to help with all things Gran D.
Advocating for a loved one within the healthcare and elder care systems in this country can leave a lot to be desired. It is a more-than-full time job as we quickly figured out, and anyone reading this who’s had to navigate this journey with an elder loved one or parent knows exactly what I’m talking about.
We felt like we were in total crisis mode for over two months, non-stop.
Every day or every couple days something major would shift in Gran D’s health and needs. Trying to keep the system up to speed with what was needed was stressful at best.
I could write a book just about the details of those two months. Broken systems red tape (and amazing people inside the systems trying their best to make things work and get things approved when the system is so broken it can’t support properly), some doctors who wouldn’t listen (and nurses and CNAs who DID and fought for us and with us!), missed meds (two separate times, for days at a time) causing all sorts of scary withdrawals and setbacks (caught by ME, thankfully!), and so much more. Add to all of this the wear and tear on our own mind, body, spirit and well-being.
I’ve said so many times the past few months how grateful I am for our life’s work and practices, because every day we are needing to LIVE our practices alive, REAL lived experience. In case anyone’s wondering, we’re human and we’re feeling it. It’s been a lot.
It was traumatizing for all of us in many ways. And as of this day, I’m grateful the details of those days are behind us, and grateful that for now we can bask in the settled and stable nature that Gran D has been in for the last few weeks.
We are blessed to be surrounded by an amazing hospice team and many special caregivers at her facility who truly are compassionate, loving care warriors. They care about Gran D, for real and it shows. Creating and nurturing real relationships between us and her care team continues to be of top alignment for us. These people have become our new extended family.
We’re all becoming a Love Unit, working together to create an environment of safe and loving care for Gran D. It’s not all smooth sailing, but we work through the kinks and adjust the sails when needed, and we’re grateful for every person who is involved in every dedicated way to this common goal of loving and supporting Gran D (and all of the residents) in the most optimum, genuine, respectful ways possible.
Eldering in Grace … Allowing
Gran D continues to set examples for me, just by being who she is, even now (especially now, as I age and elder). She shows me what Grace is, and what true compassion for self is, and what real surrender and acceptance look like when it’s time to allow them.
I love this woman like she’s my own mother. She’s been a beautiful mother to me. I’m so blessed by her Presence in my life!
Inner Healing and Transformation Inside it All
While these last few months have been very boots on the ground, lived, show up in all ways for what’s right in front of us every day, kind of time, there are also a multitude of other observable inner growth, healing, and expansion layers flowing serendipitously beneath the surface and in the depths. Of course, right?
The last few weeks as Grace has allowed some stability for Gran D, we’ve been able to exhale out of crisis mode and find our own pulse and rhythm a bit again.
Gifts and Visions to Explore in 2023!
We came back to our music and are super eager to share some new additions to our sound family. Mark found some unique and beautiful singing bowls for us to incorporate with some of our other intuitive sound instruments! Just before the pandemic hit we were feeling called to explore the sound healing realm even more. That got put on hold for awhile but is now alive and in flow again.
I have visions of full on experiential, integrated, co-created sound immersion circles. Want to play with us? I’m SO excited about this exploration!
We’ve discovered that we really love and appreciate being back in Appleton more, especially after three long years of more isolation that was probably healthy.
I’m noticing I feel more enlivened and inspired than I’ve felt in a long while, re-energized (which is interesting, given the toll that advocating and continual high stress take!).
I’m excited to explore new avenues of connection and creativity, and feel eager to serve and contribute to humanity and the local community in new, ever-evolving ways … here, and beyond. (travel bugs are getting antsy, but they will wait)
And so, at the start of this new year (and having our first experience with covid — Happy New Year Covid for me, Mark followed five days later, we’re both healing through as I type!) — here and now, I find myself pondering all of the inner growth and expansion layers and feeling into where they may lead.
Tune-IN to Tune-UP —
Here’s what’s coming up from the depths of my Inner Landscape today:
- Noticing all the ways this experience of BEing present with and to Gran D are shaping more of who I am as a human and as a woman on this planet at this time, and how it will continue to shape and evolve how I serve, communicate, contribute and express. It’s ALL on purpose
- Noticing how I love and NEED both the retreat/quiet/nature solitude of home at the Sanctuary AND the stimulating/connected/community hive hum of the city
- Opening to what the combination of this living flows and becomes … ever staying open
- Creating space to be even more unfiltered, raw, real, now, ever-forward
- Creating space to feel my soul’s call for what’s next in this experience of life
- Curiosity around new expressions of creativity, ever-evolving
- Openness to explore new interests in new ways
- Recognizing the need within me for balanced inward and outward flow and expression and the desire to meet what that looks like with eagerness, hopefulness, and passion
- Acknowledging parts of myself that were feeling too isolated, shut down, caged in
- Truly feeling liberated! … done/complete with old stories and releasing them to make room the new without having to know what that ‘new’ is, celebrating the unknown
- Making way for new templates while courageously opening to the wild unknown
- Embracing all the eldering parts of me and allowing my wise woman self to birth forth freely
- Loving my croning wise woman self more unabashedly
- Allowing my inner wild free spirit to express more fully in any and all ways
- Leaning into what feels vibrant, alive, thriving, awake, vibrating with life
- … all the while knowing that as I tend to the garden of my wild soul self, rich nurturance and blessed connections will be mine to grow with and experience more of.
From that free-flow of tuning-in, I’m noticing a theme for myself this year:
I’m saying YES, and opening to life in a renewed way … LIVED, experiential, hands-on, sensory, alive! Inward-alignment-soul driven, outwardly and artfully expressed.
It’s an in-the-moment epiphany of sorts. The last few years (um, pandemic induced, maybe? It’s bigger than that, really.) have been very much a deep inward turn, tuning into my soul and really listening, honoring, healing, nurturing — energetically, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, generationally — MAJOR transformation time.
In the spiral of my becoming, I’m feeling the renewed charge of living the inward growth alive, artfully outward (even though as I type these words, I have no idea what this actually looks like).
And the beauty is, I don’t have to! I’m listening, observing, witnessing … as unattached as I can be, flowing, allowing. I feel my-Self reassuring myself — I don’t have to make this BE a big deal. I don’t have to make this BE anything. It is what it is. I’m feeling it. That makes it real for me.
And now — I want to know!
What is your Inner Landscape revealing to you
- What’s real for you?
- Where are you on the spiral of your becoming? (wherever that is is perfect, by the way!)
- How are you getting cozy, intimate, real with your awakening self?
- What are you feeling inside that feels new and alive again?
- What layers of inner growth and expansion are you feeling rising up for you this shiny new year?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, insights and reflections!
Send me a message!
EMAIL ME: savi@lovingawareness.org
Source Sessions with Savi in 2023
There’s never been a better time for some session time where we can dive deep and explore your inner world together, you know I’m always here for you.
2023 Sessions with Savi are available and I’m eager to journey with all those who feel called to explore, experience, discover and grow with me. Get in touch to schedule today!
Brightest LOVE and Blessings to you all!
May we all continue to embrace what’s real for each of us, all the facets, within and without, for they are ALL what make us intrinsically and intricately shine so bright!
Here’s to our eternally infinite unfolding, here and now, and ever-more!
I love you holy, wholly … Savi
New channeled Message from Source! Read now…
2023 Message from Source — You Are Chosen
Newest Video
Give Yourself Permission – new video – Illuminature Energy Reset
Nature Wisdom Alchemy ~ Rebirthed!
everyday magic for every day self care
Introducing our newly re-birthed line of Nature Wisdom Alchemy Elixir Mists, everyday magic for every day self care, available now in our online store and at Urban Evolutions in Appleton, WI.
Nine unique mists, each a blend of energy-enhancing flower essences and custom blended aroma essential oils, labeled with our new sacred geometry logo received in meditation and created by Savi. This is pure intention, pure LOVE and MAGIC in a bottle! Each mist smells divine and creates and supports energetic transformation within you and surrounding you.
Add some everyday magic to your every day!
Each Elixir Mist is heart and hand crafted with magic and loving intention to support your soul growth and expansion and make you and your space smell divine in the process!
All of the aromatic blends compliment each other.
Mix and match to your heart’s content to create your own unique energetic aroma signature and energy intention.
Choose your everyday magic now!
Ground . Center . Awaken . Intuit . Unify . Vision . Transform . Manifest . Elevate
